Are you separating from or divorcing a narcissist? 

 

Or are you still thinking about it? 

 

Have you already had The Lightbulb Moment? When you were finally able to face the truth that your partner fitted the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Sociopathy, or even Psychopathy?

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Do you know it deep down, but are finding that a big part of you still can’t fully believe it?

 

 

Do you need to know for sure, before you leave?

 

Or are you still in the stage where you keep going back, sucked in by hope, charm, denial and fear? It is reported that, on average, it takes seven attempts to successfully leave a narcissist. There is no shame in that.

Did you google everything you could find? Buy books, join abuse forums and online groups?  Did you try to educate everyone about the horrors of these personality types?

 

Did you try (inevitably unsuccessfully) to save the narcissist’s hapless next victim, the new ‘chosen one’, by telling them the truth?

Or was yours a series of slow realisations, brought on by a chance comment that struck a chord with you?

 

Maybe you still haven’t trawled through the information that you know is available. Maybe you don’t want to. Maybe you can’t bear to open up that can of worms, because of what it says about you, the co-dependent, the endless giver, the ‘foolish victim’. Perhaps you have told no one, and have completely withdrawn into yourself, paralysed by the shame and disbelief.

Are you locked in a seemingly hopeless legal battle, spending  money on lawyers who can't seem to manage the narcissist’s accusations and demands, and who, inadvertently, may even stand to gain from the narcissist’s time-wasting?

Have you mostly got the feeling that you are being perceived as being too bitter, too angry, too unreasonable, or just plain 'crazy'?  (People can’t understand what they don’t know, what they’ve never encountered, and they often don’t realise when they are not in a position to give advice).

 

Have you been shocked by the level of support and sympathy that the narcissist has received? Been dismayed at how successfully the perpetrator can portray themselves as the victim? At how their likeability, charm and effortless acting has turned people against you?

 

Do you cringe at the memory of being their number one fan yourself, when you were the one who they chose to shine their light on? That’s normal too, as hundreds of thousands of people can attest to.

Maybe you’ve lost your job, your family or your home as a result. 

 

Maybe you are grieving the loss of a relationship that you now understand to have been one sided - a bitter pill to swallow. 

 

Maybe you breathed a sigh of relief after your divorce, but the narcissist is still dragging you back to court, perhaps using the children as weapons of their continued abuse. 

 

Perhaps you wonder whether it will ever really be over.

 

Maybe you wasted years or decades of your life, stuck in a cycle of drama that eventually spiraled out of control. Narcissistic abuse often has devastating results - the nightmare dressed as a daydream.

 

Perhaps you, as many do, still shudder as you remember the awful day the affable mask of the narcissist finally dropped.
 

Perhaps your self-esteem and confidence has been eroded to a point where you can’t think big, and you are trapped in an unfulfilling job.

 

Perhaps the same old traumatic images are still replaying in your mind, over and over again, and you just can’t seem to shake them.

 

Perhaps you still wake in the night, gripped by fear, worries about your future and the futures of your children. 

Wherever you are in this journey of disengaging from the narcissist in your life, I can help you make sense of it, and walk with you through it, to a place of recovery, strength and empowerment. A better, richer, more rewarding life awaits you, with real happiness and contentment - but the road to freedom is a rocky one - and that is where I come in. 

 

Sadly, victims of narcissistic abuse often don’t realise that they will be subjected to worse abuse through the separation and divorce process, and will lose financially and emotionally as a result. This makes post-abuse recovery even harder to achieve, and some never get there. 

 

The good news is that we can preempt the narcissist's behaviours in divorce, and put you back in the driving seat, saving your sanity and thousands of pounds, setting you up for the life you really deserve. 

 

Do check out some of the resources I offer, including the blog, podcast, videos and books.

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The Divorcing a Narcissist online course will be coming soon, but please do contact me or visit my specialist website, thelifedoctor.org, if you 

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• suspect that your partner may be narcissistic but are unsure, and you feel it may be time for you to step out of your old life, into the new

• need practical help navigating your separation or divorce from a suspected narcissist

• are suffering continued abuse/legal battles post-divorce 

• are struggling to communicate effectively with your narcissistic partner or ex